Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
