I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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