YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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