So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize