I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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