what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
