I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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