And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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