Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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