Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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