dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
