I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
