New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just googled if crying burns calories
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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