He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
