After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
how do you play pong handcuffed?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
