Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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