I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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