we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
