are you still at the devil's house?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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