What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
