I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
be right there i have to get my cape
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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