He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
