i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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