he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
