Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
