Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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