I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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