I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
