I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
