i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
