fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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