So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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