Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.

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(850): View more from Florida

My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.

Fav 14 6575 1131
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(317): View more from Indiana

You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice

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(914): View more from New York

I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram

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(901): View more from Tennessee

lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.

Fav 4 955 563
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(218): View more from Minnesota

So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.

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(518): View more from New York

Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook

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