I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
