On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Fuck appropriateness.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
