This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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