My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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