somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
