I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
