you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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