Three words: puerto rican gang bang
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
