If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Who died my cat blue again?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
