We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
