You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
