Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
