I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
