Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
