When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
