You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
