In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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