is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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