Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
