Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
