i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
