I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
