loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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