I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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