he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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