Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
