It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
