he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
