Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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