your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize