ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Is it penis luge time yet?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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