I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
